Written for Collapse Board
Madonna reminds me of the creepy old goth who used to hang out at the club hitting on the teenage girls – she’s just too old for this. She might be aiming for Samantha from SATC but she’s hitting Baby Jane. Put some clothes on, love, I hear Wallis has a sale on.
What does her appearance have to do with it? Madonna’s image has always served as 3D cover art: Ray Of Light‘s classy earth mother look reflected the grown-up sound of her most accomplished album. Her quirky bustier in the Vogue video personifies the wry kitsch of the music. The ill-judged leggings she’s been sporting in recent years … well, let’s not go there, shall we? Her image is a personification of her music, and that is undignified and faintly embarrassing.
Oh f***ing crap, is that dubstep on Gang Bang? Repeat after me: you are not 18. I feel like banging my head against this desk. When she sings, “I said drive, bitch/And while you’re at it, die, bitch” I feel like banging her head against this desk. The lyrics to each song are as trite and crass as Ray Of Light‘s were (sometimes) self-aware and insightful. I’m A Sinner makes my eyes water, but when I’m Addicted starts, I forget that she’s a dodgy old strumpet and start tapping my foot. Because it’s good. Really good. I’ll even forgive that she’s singing “MDNA” over and over. I’ll forgive the cheesy 90s synths and just lose myself in the moment. Continue reading