sh*te! I haven’t even heard of the headliners! They’re not very interesting – just extremely standard indie.
I instinctively hate this lot on principle because they’re famous solely for their lead singer dating a supermodel *yawn* and having a heroin habit *double-yawn*. That’s like famous for … being a polar bear, except Knut the bear isn’t interestingly insane; it’s just bored. Like I am, a few bars into this song.
I’ll say this much, it’s pretty catchy in an obvious sort of way. It reminds me of being at the youth disco I used to go to when I was 12 or so. I remember winning a KMFDM single in a dance competition and giving it to a boy I fancied. What the hell was I thinking? Dizzee? I think I’ll have forgotten this the minute it’s over, but I don’t hate it.
Apparently Johnny Marr’s their guitarist, which doesn’t sway my opinion of them one way or the other. Neither does this song. Average.
The NME reckons this is the best indie has to offer right now. Oh dear. Why am I thinking Kitchens of Distinction?
Again, I’ve dimly heard of this lot, but I know why I’ve never gone ape over them. You know it’s bad when you have to root around for anything interesting enough to link to.
The Gaslight Anthem
Well, I haven’t yoinked it from the player yet, but I also actually forgot it was playing.
They have the crappiest, weakest endorsement from the Reading brochure. However, I’m intrigued by the hair in the video. If you didn’t know better, you’d think they were a band from the 80s you’d forgotten about because they didn’t make a strong enough impression. (*listens to other tracks*) Same opinion.
I dimly remember The Futureheads being one of a slew of sub-Joy Division/Magazine-type bands to come out a while back. They were neither brilliant nor terrible. If I was at the Reading Festival, I’d watch them but I wouldn’t go out of my way to see them otherwise.
Unusually vague description on the brochure. They’re a bit folksy, a bit Poguesy, but it has a basically indefinable quality. It’s basically indie rock, but a cut above the usual sh*te. Not something I’d go nuts over, though.
NME/RADIO 1 STAGE
Him Indoors likes this, which makes me think they could be good, since he likes about 80% of the same stuff as me. He also likes Def Leppard, though, and there we must part. Yeah, it’s really good as far as D&B club music goes, but I left that stuff behind in about ’96.
Pretty standard bleepy stuff.
Oooh! It’s thingy from System of a Down! Here’s the thing: I don’t really like, and have never liked, SOAD, but they are such a cut above all the s*** I’ve heard so far that this sounds epic in comparison. This, kids, is how you wind up reading 10/10 reviews to really average records – it’s because they’ve been subjected to so many rubbish ones beforehand that the minute anything remotely interesting comes along, you just want to kiss it.
Is it bad that I had that involuntary shudder when I heard the words ‘singer-songwriter’? Normally those lyrics would make me smile, but this time they just make me groan. Why do I feel soooo jaded?
Kids In Glass Houses
I don’t want to kill this band dead! HOORAY!
Dear God … is this what I’ve come to? Kill me dead …
28 million f***ing VIEWS? Wow! Bland club music.
Band of Skulls
“WoW – these sound a lot like the White Stripes”. Who I think are rubbish.
Playing various tracks, I can see he covers a wide variety of styles, but nothing that I actually like. Shame.
LOCK UP STAGE
Almost shockingly bland, given their 30-year history. They do what they do.
The Get Up Kids
Hardcore from Toronto. Competent.
Ska/hip-hop crew. Fun but ultimately uninspiring
Crime In Stereo
Bog-standard indie pop with math-rock elements
It’s just noise to me
Paint It Black
Again, just noise
Off With Their Heads
FESTIVAL REPUBLIC STAGE
They still going? Veeerrry bland
Atari Teenage Riot
I remember thinking they were rubbish when they supported NIN
The Black Angels
Somewhere between Velvet Underground and Can, very able but completely derivative
Fight Like Apes
UK hip-hop always sounds laughably inauthentic, somehow – especially when he tries to use the ultra-taboo N-word. I mean, it’s way more shocking than the c-word these days, but it seems somehow limp when someone tries to “reclaim” it in a country that never embraced the term anyway, especially with the stupidly random homophobia. I’m thinking Ali G by this point.
I really need to hand that time machine back some time. But not before I’ve hopped back to the mid-90s and jumped the bones of my alt-rock idols of the time. This music, I can live without.
OMG! They’re so earnest! No wonder The Guardian love them. Heard too many like it.
This funky folk-rock is charming in a derivative kind of way
I Blame Coco
This act is more usually associated with reggae pop; this robotic pop song is … robotic
“C86’dness” is apparently a word. Who knew?