We’re not romantic people. On our first date, he asked if I was hungry, and then bought me a takeaway from the fish ‘n’ chip shop. On a rare occasion when he presented me with flowers, I asked if the plastic roses were to symbolise the undying nature of our love; he explained he just hadn’t noticed they weren’t real. We don’t exchange cards, or read each other soppy poetry, and if I presented him with a heart-bearing teddy bear, he’d probably throw up.
It’s not that we’re bored with each other – even after 10 years together, we can’t walk past each other without one of us trying to grab or tickle the other. What they don’t tell you in fairy stories is that love isn’t Happily Ever After, but falling in love with the same person, over and over, just because they’re the best match for you. Saying “I do” was an x-thousand-dollar bet that I would never meet anyone who was a better person for me to be with. It says “I’ve stopped looking” – not that you’ve stopped seeing, but that you can look at someone cute and smart and funny and still genuinely believe you got the better deal.
So, no Disney’s Snow White for us, but curling up together with one of these films, which manage to be both heart-tinglingly romantic and distinctly un-sappy:
The film begins with two couples breaking up, and follows the efforts of TS and Brodie as they try to win back the women that they love – by sabotaging the dating game show on which TS’s girl Brandi will reluctantly appear. It’s sassy, smart, and very, very funny.
The Princess Bride
The most adorable couple in this quirky fairytale is not Westley and his adored Princess Buttercup, but crotchety old bickering pair Max and Valerie.
“True love is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT: a mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky, I love that.”
It must just be the masochistic part of me that really, really loves grumpy old buggers, but I think these are lovely, sweet films – especially the superior Shrek 2.
10 Things I Hate About You
One of the best teen movies ever, this reworking of The Taming of the Shrew works because the cast is extremely likeable. It’s witty and sweet, making both snarky Kat and antisocial Patrick too impossibly sympathetic to take seriously as undateable people – but a fun enough movie for you not to mind.
Addams Family Values
Has there ever been a more loving couple than Gomez and Morticia Addams?
“You still desire me after all this time? The old ball and chain? … I’ll get them.”