10 of the Best Screen Princesses

Spanish Infanta Blackadder

“I do love a Royal Wedding”, says Baldrick in Blackadder, and it seems that most people I know are suckers for pomp and pageantry, too. Sure, I flicked over to see the dress, smiled at the misty-eyed “I dos”, and then turned back to the more interesting world of on-screen princesses – those from our favourite films and television shows. I didn’t think too hard about the rankings, and I’m sure I’ve left off a few, but here are the fair ladies of fiction that spring immediately to mind when I think of princesses.

10. Princess Vespa – Spaceballs

Probably the silliest film ever made. This Druish princess doesn’t like being shot through the hair.

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10 Greatest Songs on Creation Records

Between 1983 and 1993, Creation Records released some of the best records ever made. They limped on for another six years after signing Oasis, but by that point the magic was gone. There was so much more to Creation than thuggish lad pop. This much more important history is remembered in a new film, Upside Down (named after a JAMC single), which does alas seem to spend too much time on those horrible, horrible Gallaghers.

Creation Records was indie music. It was everything that was right about it – and, later, everything that was wrong about it. I never much liked the Mary Chain or Teenage Fanclub, and later they had the weakest, most insipid excuses for Britpop – most of which came out after the label was bought out by Sony. Alan McGee had sobered up, which was important for him personally, but the death knell creatively because he could no longer keep pouring money into loss-making musical geniuses. My Bloody Valentine almost bankrupted him, but Loveless was unlike any record that had ever been made. Time was that you could pick up almost any band from the label and hear a great song. Time was that he’d sign bands on a whim with no concern about whether anyone would buy the records. Music needs people like this – not necessarily obliterated on drugs, but certainly insane and with capital. Most magically of all, some of these strange creative risks tapped into the soft spot of the record-buying public. Screamadelica reached number eight in the UK charts. Ride went top 10. Even Loveless sold 225,000 copies. I was not the only person to love these records with a passion.

Here are 10 of my favourite Creation songs, in no particular order.

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10 Great Bunny Moments

Rabbits in film? It’s Easter tomorrow, and to celebrate, here are some of my favourite lagomorphic cinematic moments.

10. Mallrats – The Easter Bunny

After Brodie frames the Easter Bunny for his injuries (which were really caused by sleazy Ben Affleck), his buddies take their revenge. It’s the kids’ reactions that make this scene.

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Platform Wars: Some Consolation

Resident Evil 5 Sheva

Seriously, has he played every game that there’s ever been? I’m staring incredulously at my nephew’s gamerscore. Sure, there’s a couple of games I beat him on, but on the whole he’s got twice as many Achievements as me on my entire game collection, plus at least twice as many other games, including – bafflingly – the Harry Potter games. I’m impressed he got further into Fable II than me. Teenagers must have greater attention spans than easily-bored thirty-somethings. So, yes, I’m making my way through The Pile – this time, of unplayed console games. Since these belong to my husband – Him Indoors, as I call him – he chips in with advice during my marathon play-through.

Him Indoors: You need to try Enslaved first. Seriously. It’s the most excited I’ve been about a game in ages.

Enslaved: Odyssey to the West

The game hasn’t actually arrived yet. HI ordered it a few days back, but what with the bank holidays things aren’t travelling as fast as they should. So I’ve downloaded the demo, and off we go.

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Platform Wars: Grand Theft Auto 4

A couple of days ago, I did something that I’ve done at a least a dozen times before: I bought something for one platform that I already owned on another platform. This time it was Grand Theft Auto IV, which I already had on the 360. It was my husband who bought it, and he played it through. I didn’t manage more than about three hours on the 360 because I just didn’t get on with the controls. Before you could say “typical bloody woman driver”, I’d slammed the car repeatedly into the nearest wall.

I figured this was a shame because, in spite of the game’s flaws (which become apparent much later on), there was a great game to be played. At the time it came out, the opening scene had to be seen to be believed. It just goes to show how fast the technology is moving that it looks old and clunky now. I remember when the title credits came up sitting there, my mouth hanging open in awe.

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Weird Al Yankovic

Youtube user RevLucio made a fan video to accompany Weird Al’s song Germs, a parody of various NIN songs (mostly Closer). It’s from the album Running With Scissors, which I recall had some pretty sweet parodies. I love this one best because it’s an absolutely fantastic song.

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