“I do love a Royal Wedding”, says Baldrick in Blackadder, and it seems that most people I know are suckers for pomp and pageantry, too. Sure, I flicked over to see the dress, smiled at the misty-eyed “I dos”, and then turned back to the more interesting world of on-screen princesses – those from our favourite films and television shows. I didn’t think too hard about the rankings, and I’m sure I’ve left off a few, but here are the fair ladies of fiction that spring immediately to mind when I think of princesses.
10. Princess Vespa – Spaceballs
Probably the silliest film ever made. This Druish princess doesn’t like being shot through the hair.
9. Princess Buttercup – The Princess Bride
Separated from her true love, Westley, and married off to the evil Prince Humperdinck, Buttercup is full of quiet resolve.
8. Belle – Beauty & The Beast
She may be a commoner’s daughter, but Belle can hold her own with the grumpy (and somewhat hairy) prince.
7. Princess Mia – The Princess Diaries
An ordinary American teenager discovers she is heir to a foreign throne, and undergoes a transformation much akin to Pretty Woman without the prostitutes, corporate sharks, or other unsanitary shenanigans
6. Princess Fiona – Shrek
The unconvential princess sends up classic Disney princesses
5. The Spanish Infanta – Blackadder
The Black Adder (of the first series) is hotly pursued by the amorous Spanish royal
4. Xena: Warrior Princess
Wonderfully cheap and cheesy Saturday morning TV, Xena started off as an evil enemy of Hercules, but eventually became the heroic leader we know and love
3. Eowyn – LOTR: Return of the King
Arwen might have the fancy dresses, but Eowyn kicks so much ass
2. Wonder Woman
Everyone’s favourite Princess of the Amazons bears quite a resemblance to the erstwhile Kate Middleton. Has Will’s new missus been moonlighting?
1. Princess Leia – Star Wars
Dubious sibling interactions aside, Leia had it all: intelligence, practical good sense, self-confidence in spades, and of course that unselfconscious beauty. None of that flouncy Barbie bulls*** – this is the kind of princess that little girls want to be when they grow up
That was an /excellent/ episode of Blackadder.
And you’re right about Eowyn, she’s one of the best characters in the entire series. A cave troll nearly takes out the entire fellowship but when Eowyn is confronted by the top Nazgûl she just stomps over and grinds him in to the mud.
If I ever have a daughter, and she’s invited to one of these frilly princess parties, I hope she attends dressed as Nausicaa 😀