It’s just like being ambushed in broad daylight

I don’t know why I should feel uncomfortable. I’m not talking about the part where, earlier today, I was walking through town and the underwear I bought a size too big started falling down (thank God I was wearing trousers!). I’m talking about the part where I was sitting in Costa Coffee and they started playing Anna Calvi. 

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It’s not that I hate it when the acts I like become successful. Au contraire, I’m pretty happy about it – unless they get there by suddenly making the most bland and uninspired drivel I’ve heard in years (step forward, The Verve).

It’s just that normally the act is either already huge when I get into them (Lady Gaga) or it’s a slow process where I get slowly acclimatised to their growing success (Radiohead). I’m just not used to suddenly finding out that, actually, everyone else already likes that hot new act I’m raving about. It’s like turning up to a party and everyone else is wearing the same dress.

To be fair, Calvi’s rise has been stratospheric. Her massively acclaimed debut album was only released last year. It featured Brian Eno on backing vocals, which I thought was a pretty eye-watering claim for a first recording. So, just like someone setting a camera flash off in your face when you least expect it, I’m dazzled by the realisation that everyone else is as excited about Anna Calvi as I am.

They were even playing her single over the tannoy in the Co-op when I went to buy bread. I’ve only just stopped freezing like a bunny in the headlights every time Battles get used in an advert. They get used in a lot of adverts.

My friend had the same thing happen to her. Patrick Wolf playing in (clothing retailer) Dorothy Perkins. It just isn’t right.

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What next? Alexander Tucker blaring out at the fish-and-chip shop?

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Gallops as call centre hold music?

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If I end up hearing Thinking Plague over the tannoy the next time I’m in a shopping mall, I’d …

… actually, that would be seriously cool.

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I’d just end up buying shoes like this.

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OMG I want those shoes.

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