April Fool’s Day 2012: Bethesda Bug Man Jailed

A 26 year-old man was sentenced on Friday to six months in jail following his arrest for vandalism at the premises of Bethesda Game Studios.

Jason Higgins of Germantown, MD, is a former employee of Bethesda, who was sacked from his role as a software tester following an altercation with management. In the incident a year ago, he had refused to delete his level 7 Wood Elf mage to test a new patch, claiming that he and Arendil were one and that such a bid would be tantamount to suicide. When his manager insisted, Higgins bombarded him with a shower of Cheetos and threatened to stick the broken end of his Vault Boy bobblehead “where the sun don’t shine”. 

In a series of separate incidents from September last year, Higgins is thought to have broken into Bethesda’s Rockville offices and sabotaged the then-unreleased Skyrim game, planting bugs as revenge for his dismissal.

“He was very clever,” said Game Director Todd Howard, “He put the bugs in places that the normal software testing process wouldn’t find, so that only certain combinations of hardware and drivers would reveal them.”

It is thought that he used the Joker’s cosmetics attack in Tim Burton’s Batman movie as inspiration.

“We are now working to hunt down and eliminate these malicious deviations from the game’s design,” Howard assured fans. “It might be a while before we find all of them – if ever – but I promise we’re trying really hard to thwart this villain’s fiendish scheme.”

“The cruellest of his shenanigans was the poor guy outside the stable in Whiterun, who he buried up to his waist and then stood a clone nearby laughing at him,” said Howard. “What kind of a person does that?”

Representatives for Jason Higgins declined to comment.

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