Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight

I’m not going to spend too much time on this because frankly it doesn’t deserve it, but if you’re looking for a stupid, cheesy horror film and have run out of other stupid, cheesy horror films to watch, this is a lot of fun. William Sadler (Roswell) is the titular knight, battling evil demon Billy Zane. He holes up in a boarding house with Jada Pinkett-Smith, Brenda Bakke (American Gothic), CCH Pounder, Dick Miller, Charles Fleischer and Thomas Haden Church. The latter is a misogynist who you know from the outset is going to die a gruesome death. You know from the outset most of them are going to die a gruesome death. 

This is from Tales of the Crypt so you know what to expect here: rubber-puppet demons, eyeballs flying, silly-coloured fake blood and painfully cheesy dialogue. It ticks along predictably enough on its $12 million budget, being neither remotely scary nor nauseatingly gory. It’s the type of horror film enjoyed by 12 year-old kids, and one you wouldn’t be too worried about them seeing, though I did cover my five-month-old’s eyes whenever anything too outlandish happened on screen. I think you have to be 12 years old to really appreciate it, but between Zane’s charismatic performance, Sadler’s stoic heroism and the silly rubber puppets, it’s good old-fashioned fun.

Mostly, you’ll enjoy the soundtrack, which is better known than the film. Pantera, Megadeth, Filter, Ministry and Rollins Band all feature, and I do recall this being in most people’s collections along with Mortal Kombat and Hackers.

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