No time to blog today, and here’s why

An early birthday present. My new love. If this was by Apple, I’d be Macturbating.

It’s so shiny. It has an e-reader and everything! (I used to be anti-Kindle, but seven hardbacked volumes of The Dark Tower put paid to that). Angry Birds is a free app! 

Baby: Mother …

Me: Shh … Mummy’s busy.

Baby: Mother, I appear to have pooped.

Me: In a minute …

Baby: But, mother! I have soiled myself!

Me: *very reluctantly puts down fancy toy to change nappy*

Baby: Mother, I should like to play Let’s Rip Apart The Important Documents.

Me: Yeah, whatever, Mummy’s playing.

Baby: *indignant squeak*

Me: *exaggerated sigh* Can’t you change your own nappy?

Baby: *tries to eat credit card bill*

Me: OK, Phone, you and I will spend a little quality time together later. *Tries to stop Baby eating soiled nappy*


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