An early birthday present. My new love. If this was by Apple, I’d be Macturbating.
It’s so shiny. It has an e-reader and everything! (I used to be anti-Kindle, but seven hardbacked volumes of The Dark Tower put paid to that). Angry Birds is a free app!
Baby: Mother …
Me: Shh … Mummy’s busy.
Baby: Mother, I appear to have pooped.
Me: In a minute …
Baby: But, mother! I have soiled myself!
Me: *very reluctantly puts down fancy toy to change nappy*
Baby: Mother, I should like to play Let’s Rip Apart The Important Documents.
Me: Yeah, whatever, Mummy’s playing.
Baby: *indignant squeak*
Me: *exaggerated sigh* Can’t you change your own nappy?
Baby: *tries to eat credit card bill*
Me: OK, Phone, you and I will spend a little quality time together later. *Tries to stop Baby eating soiled nappy*