Oh, come here and give me a hug! Right. Now let’s instill some cheer with some of the more heartwarming items circulating on the internet right now.
1. Sick tortoise saved with sex toy
A severely constipated tortoise, who had eaten the stones in the bottom of his tank, has recovered after a vibrator was strapped to the underside of its shell. The notoriously difficult-to-care-for pets sometimes eat their bedding when they are bored, hungry or thirsty.
2. Animals open Christmas presents at Sydney zoo (video)
Animals at Taronga Zoo in Sydney received their food gift-wrapped. The bears and meerkats seem particularly enthused, but the tortoises weren’t bothered. Perhaps they were constipated.
3. One-armed basketball player inspires millions
Zach Hodskins of Georgia is a regular starter against the best players of his age in the region. He averages 31 points per game, and now plays for Milton, one of the top schools in the area. The star player was born without his left lower arm, but teases enquirers by pretending it was bitten off by a shark. “I like that story; makes me sound tougher,” he jokes.
“He can really, really play. Not ‘for a guy with one arm’ kind of play either,” declares team-mate Jazz Felton. “He does everything really well, but he can shoot lights out.”
4. Having a slide in your living room
5. 26 Moments that restored our faith in humanity this year
Buzzfeed’s list of inspiring pictures