Watch this wonderful Middle Earth flight safety video

Air New Zealand Middle Earth Flight Safety video

One does not simply … well, you know the rest. Air New Zealand also know it, so they’ve teamed up with WETA Workshop to create this charming Lord of the Rings-themed flight safety information video.

An Unexpected Briefing features a cameo by Sir Peter Jackson and Air New Zealand are offering six pairs of tickets to the world premiere of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey on 28 November.

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Because you know Pride & Prejudice always needed a purple-headed love monster …

You know you want it. I mean, Jane Austen’s light and witty prose just doesn’t have enough to interest the modern reader, who would much rather read about “the hardness of [Darcy’s] manhood”. While we’re at it, wouldn’t Sherlock Holmes be so much better if he spent his investigative downtime flicking his tongue over Watson’s nipples? And surely Jayne Eyre would be improved with some rough, sweaty, spanking action …

I’m not even kidding here. I wish I was, but no – Clandestine Classics quenches our thirst for sub-Jilly Cooper really bad slash fiction and inserts a hard, throbbing strategically-placed sex scenes in a series of classic novels including Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea (gay slashfic) and Northanger Abbey (straight slashfic). The site’s blurb proudly boasts:

There is no doubting the fact that the classics remain an inspiration to writers, even today, with many complex and thought-provoking storylines. But if we are honest to ourselves haven’t we heard the same reserved tale told time and time again?

Our collection of Clandestine Classics is about to change that. This is a collection of classics as they have never been seen before.

The old fashioned pleasantries and timidity have all been stripped away, quite literally. You didn’t really think that these much loved characters only held hands and pecked cheeks did you? Come with us, as we embark on a breathtaking experience—behind the closed bedroom doors of our favourite, most-beloved British characters. Learn what Sherlock really thought of Watson, what Mr Darcy really wanted to do to Miss Elizabeth Bennet, and unveil the sexy escapades of Mr Rochester and Jane Eyre. We’ll show you the scenes that you always wanted to see but were never allowed. Come on, you know you can’t resist…open the pages and delve inside.

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Skyrim: constructive criticism at its best

According to vgchartz, over 3.4 million copies of Skyrim have sold in just two days, and that excludes digital. Steam reported recently that nearly 250,000 of its members were playing the game on the day of release. Skyrim, which has now shipped 7 million copies, is selling faster than Battlefield 3 and eclipsed only by Modern Warfare 3. The game is huge – and deservedly so. While I’m not going to give away too many thoughts about it before completing the main quest, the game is pretty much perfect.

But it isn’t flawless.

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Lines from other films that could have been used in Harry Potter

I was having a bit of a DVD marathon today, re-watching the Harry Potter films in advance of seeing part 2 of Deathly Hallows next week. It occurred to me, while watching the films, that you could have slipped any number of lines from other films into the dialogue with nobody much noticing the difference. For example:

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10 of the Best Screen Princesses

Spanish Infanta Blackadder

“I do love a Royal Wedding”, says Baldrick in Blackadder, and it seems that most people I know are suckers for pomp and pageantry, too. Sure, I flicked over to see the dress, smiled at the misty-eyed “I dos”, and then turned back to the more interesting world of on-screen princesses – those from our favourite films and television shows. I didn’t think too hard about the rankings, and I’m sure I’ve left off a few, but here are the fair ladies of fiction that spring immediately to mind when I think of princesses.

10. Princess Vespa – Spaceballs

Probably the silliest film ever made. This Druish princess doesn’t like being shot through the hair.

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