Top 100 singles of all time: 46 – Metallica – Master of Puppets (and The Carpenters)

metallica master of puppets

I was far too old when I heard this; long past the age when it should have been part of my soul. I should have heard this growing up, letting its searing riffs embed themselves deep into my adolescent psyche; its heart-rending, tear-inducingly beautiful solo entwining itself with my memories like roses in a trellis.

As it is, I only heard this a few years ago and thought, “F*** me, it’s pretty.”  It is pretty. Its central section ranks alongside Comfortably Numb and Hangar 18 as the most lovely thing you can reasonably do with a guitar. Continue reading

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Azealia Banks and Perez Hilton are amateurs: wittiest celebrity insults of all time

Jumping the shark? Azealia Banks

So Azealia Banks apologised to her gay fans after calling Perez Hilton a “f*ggot” and telling him to kill himself, because that was a jaw-droppingly stupid thing to do. The ugly spat arose because he sided with her rival, Angel Haze, a couple of days after Ms Haze posted a diss track about Ms Banks, to which she retaliated in kind.

[Caution: all links contain strong language]

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Why artists shouldn’t stick to art

Salvador-Dali-NYWTS-1965-Roger-Higgins-public-domain-via-wikipedia

Written for Collapse Board

Everett True reckons that Artists Should Stick To Art instead of making mixtapes of obvious dad rock. If mixtapes made by artists are so disappointing in real life, I think we should invent some fantasy selections.

For example:  Continue reading

Producers that make (or break) the band

New on Collapse Board

Band-members are like the ingredients of a cake: get it wrong, and the result is bland or sickly. It’s about getting people together who make each other feel comfortable, who can inspire the audience, and who can deflate the ego of an overindulgent songwriter. The producer is the mould. If you pour cake mix onto a baking tray, you’ll end up with a flat, sticky mess. Some producers are like old-fashioned round cake tins, providing a strong but subtle structure that simply allows the flavours to emerge. Others make fancy shapes, so vibrant and daring that its cakeness comes second to its art-form. Like the line-up, the right producer for your band is the one that fits your personal dynamic, and brings out the best in what you, uniquely, have to offer.

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Is there really such a thing as selling out?

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I know this is going to come as a shock to you, but albums aren’t made by little pixies waving magic wands. Whatever dreams are spun of, Phase 1: plan to be famous; Phase 3: profit, the reality is more mundane. It’s something we accept about the film industry, because it lets us in on its processes. We understand it’s a giant corporate behemoth mired in politics and dodgy dealings, but can appreciate that this can still result in magical works of art.
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Fan Video: Metallica – The Thing That Should Not Be

If there’s one song that typifies the kind of bone-shattering, chuggy riffs I love above all, it’s Metallica’s The Thing That Should Not Be, from the superlative Master of Puppets album. It’s pretty much my favourite song at the moment. I listened to it at least six times yesterday.

Youtube user cynicaster obviously agrees, because he’s made a sweet fan video to go along with it – but rather than just putting the lyrics over a lazy picture slideshow, he’s cut together clips from Andrew Leman’s 2005 movie Call of Cthulhu.

Leman’s film was made for just $50,000 and shot in black and white with the aim of showing what it would have looked like had HP Lovecraft’s story been filmed on its release in 1926. The silent-era stylistics are beautifully done and – though I haven’t seen the film – its festival showing was sold out thanks to some glowing reviews.

With the thematic fit, this is an enjoyable way to hear the song.

6 of the Best Misheard Lyrics

If yesterday’s link to that wonderful Adriano Celentano song was not enough, Youtube user godelnahaleth has “translated” the nonsensical song into real English – without any attempt to understand what he was singing before. I’m pretty sure my mother does that most of the time – her (unintentionally) misheard lyrics drive me nuts!

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This isn’t Soramimi – (空耳, “mishearing; (feigned) deafness”) or Soramimi kashi (空耳歌詞, misheard lyrics) – since that involves changing something that makes sense in one language into something that makes sense in another language.
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