“I do love a Royal Wedding”, says Baldrick in Blackadder, and it seems that most people I know are suckers for pomp and pageantry, too. Sure, I flicked over to see the dress, smiled at the misty-eyed “I dos”, and then turned back to the more interesting world of on-screen princesses – those from our favourite films and television shows. I didn’t think too hard about the rankings, and I’m sure I’ve left off a few, but here are the fair ladies of fiction that spring immediately to mind when I think of princesses.
10. Princess Vespa – Spaceballs
Probably the silliest film ever made. This Druish princess doesn’t like being shot through the hair.
We’re not romantic people. On our first date, he asked if I was hungry, and then bought me a takeaway from the fish ‘n’ chip shop. On a rare occasion when he presented me with flowers, I asked if the plastic roses were to symbolise the undying nature of our love; he explained he just hadn’t noticed they weren’t real. We don’t exchange cards, or read each other soppy poetry, and if I presented him with a heart-bearing teddy bear, he’d probably throw up.
It’s not that we’re bored with each other – even after 10 years together, we can’t walk past each other without one of us trying to grab or tickle the other. What they don’t tell you in fairy stories is that love isn’t Happily Ever After, but falling in love with the same person, over and over, just because they’re the best match for you. Saying “I do” was an x-thousand-dollar bet that I would never meet anyone who was a better person for me to be with. It says “I’ve stopped looking” – not that you’ve stopped seeing, but that you can look at someone cute and smart and funny and still genuinely believe you got the better deal.
So, no Disney’s Snow White for us, but curling up together with one of these films, which manage to be both heart-tinglingly romantic and distinctly un-sappy: