April Fool’s Day 2012: Bethesda Bug Man Jailed

A 26 year-old man was sentenced on Friday to six months in jail following his arrest for vandalism at the premises of Bethesda Game Studios.

Jason Higgins of Germantown, MD, is a former employee of Bethesda, who was sacked from his role as a software tester following an altercation with management. In the incident a year ago, he had refused to delete his level 7 Wood Elf mage to test a new patch, claiming that he and Arendil were one and that such a bid would be tantamount to suicide. When his manager insisted, Higgins bombarded him with a shower of Cheetos and threatened to stick the broken end of his Vault Boy bobblehead “where the sun don’t shine”. 

Princess Stomper answers your dilemmas

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When some friends of mine were offended by a Yahoo article from “Allure: The Beauty Expert” that made the bold claim that men don’t like women that look like skanks, we got into a long debate about the role of the fashion industry in how we feel about ourselves.

I see both sides. On the one hand, I gave up my subscriptions when I heard the line “do not read beauty magazines; they will only make you feel ugly”. On the other, I fantasise about the $95,000 pink Birkin the way other women fantasise about George Clooney.

The main problem with Catherine Devine’s article is that it’s crass, lazy and phoned in, coming over like a cheap infomercial for whatever products they’re flogging. I honestly think that I could do better than any of the advice given in any fashion magazine. So, in an effort to demonstrate this, I will now provide advice for our eager readers … 

Star Trek TNG: The (fictional) eighth season

Disappointed that there wasn’t an eighth season of Star Trek: The Next Generation? (Answer: no.)

Ever wonder what it would have been like? (Answer: Also no.)

Twitter user @TNG_S8 will quench your thirst for this knowledge with his/her prophetic episode guides …

The Best April Fool’s Jokes 2011

As you’ll have seen from yesterday’s post, the first of April holiday is one I take very seriously. A good joke must be – of course – funny, but also entirely harmless. It must be almost plausible enough to have you going for a minute or two, but silly enough so that even a moment’s reflection reveals it to be a hoax. It must be inventive, charming, and utterly absurd.

Here are some of yesterday’s more successful prankings:

Youtube: Top viral videos of 1911

April Fool’s Day 2011

For the fifth year running, Planet Elder Scrolls hosted my annual mischief. Thanks, APY and everyone at PES! I’m also pleased that – for once – nobody fell for this one!

We were saddened to note that Bethesda’s Lead Character Animator has been injured in an accident at work today. We wish her the speediest of recoveries. Planet Elder Scrolls has the full story:

April Fool’s Day 2010

For the fourth year running, APY at Planet Elder Scrolls very kindly hosted my Bethesda-related nonsense. Thank you once again, PES, for being my partners in crime. As for anyone who fell for this: SERIOUSLY, you should be ashamed of yourself!

The Elder Scrolls V Announced – Full story at Planet Elder Scrolls

Bethesda Softworks has announced at a press conference in London today a new entrant into the Elder Scrolls franchise, subtitled Alinor. Details are slim at the moment as Bethesda is remaining tight-lipped, but a few bits of information were provided. The game is due out sometime in 2011 for Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC, Wii and iPhone. The game is not a direct sequel to Oblivion, though it is an RPG in the Elder Scrolls series; Bethesda has said that you can expect the “same type of game” despite the fact that a different developer is working on it.

Bethesda’s in-house development team is involved in a number of projects, including Fallout 4 and Medieval Games 2 for the Wii. Therefore, development of Alinor has been passed over to indie studio Armor Games, who Product Manager Pete Hines said “brings exactly the type of fast-paced, easy-to-grasp action that our fans are looking for.”

April Fool’s Day 2009

For the third year running, APY at Planet Elder Scrolls very kindly hosted my Bethesda-related nonsense. Thank you once again, PES, for being my partners in crime.

Bethesda “Sorry” for Oblivion – News Story at Planet Elder Scrolls

In a surprise move that has shocked the gaming world, Bethesda’s Executive Producer Todd Howard stepped forward at GDC on behalf of the company to issue a public apology for Oblivion. The announcement follows years of campaigning from disenfranchised members of the Elder Scrolls community to persuade ZeniMax and its subsidiaries to take responsibility for the “unprecedented damage” the game has unleashed.

Bethesda: Heads bowed in shame

“We would like to apologize to everybody who bought our game, and to the world at large, for the problems that we have caused,” said Howard in his tearful and emotional speech, “And we very much hope that by taking ownership of the situation that we can limit the legacy of destruction that our game has wrought upon the world.”

April Fool’s Day 2008

The following was kindly published by APY on 1st April 2008 on Planet Elder Scrolls. It was a spoof interview in advance of Fallout 3.

PES Exclusive interview with Todd and Pete from Bethesda – Planet Elder Scrolls.

Todd Howard and Pete Hines have granted a special interview to PES with exciting new information on their forthcoming post-apocalyptic roleplayer Fallout 3. San Francisco resident Enigma caught up with Bethesda’s Executive Producer and Vice-President of Marketing when they were in town for the Game Developers Conference (GDC).

Pete and Todd at GDC

April Fool’s Day 2007

APY kindly published this little prank over at Planet Elder Scrolls on 1st April 2007.

Press Release: New Customer Care Strategy Unveiled At Bethesda

The company behind the best-selling games Oblivion and Morrowind has announced a new customer care package aimed at strengthening ties with its vast community. The popular games have attracted a sizeable community of devoted fans and modders, the latter of which have extended the shelf-life of the PC version of the games by creating high-quality modifications such as Wizards’ Islands, Oscuro’s Oblivion Overhaul and various graphic enhancers. It was this comparatively small but near-fanatical sector who prompted the change in policy, following accusations that Bethesda had “distanced themselves” from their customers and were unsupportive of their market.

“I spent months perfecting my mod,” said disgruntled modder Reginald “ImLeet” Hawkthorn, “And then when I went to download one of the DLC official mods, it wouldn’t install properly and I had to wait three weeks and spend 90 minutes on the telephone fighting for a refund. We brought Reginald’s case to the attention of BethSoft marketing boss Pete Hines, who suggested that the modder would be the first target of their new approach to fan liaison.

“Fortunately for us, he had included his name, address and telephone number with his emails to us, so he was pretty easy to track down,” explains Pete. “We phoned ahead and spoke to his mother, who confirmed what time he would be in, and then went and knocked on his door right when he was watching Buffy.”