Robert Pattinson hates his life: a supercut

Remember how Robert Pattinson hates his life? Here’s a supercut.

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The incredibly lifelike celebrity lookalike dolls of Noel Cruz

I have a wobbly headed Legolas doll in a box somewhere, an Evil Dead Ash and a few other bits and pieces stored away. I love merchandise, and always wanted Spaceballs: The Flamethrower as a kid. What I love less is how little these toys for grown-ups tend to resemble the characters that inspired them. I mean, they usually look like this:

Yeah, apparently that’s supposed to be Edward from Twilight. I doubt you’d get that if it wasn’t explained.  Noel Cruz‘s version, by contrast … well, that looks a little more like Robert Pattinson.  And by a little, I mean a lot.

Robert Pattinson hates his life

 

Interviewer: “What do you think of ‘R-Pattz’ actually?”
Rob: “I would like to break the hands and mouth of the person who came up with it.”

We’re taught to lie from an early age, and – when we’re older – to be diplomatic, to spin and to generally gloss over the unpleasantness in life. That’s why, when someone genuinely just does not give a f***, it feels like such a breath of fresh air. Especially when, like Rob Pattinson, there doesn’t seem to be any malice behind it, just a general sense of exasperation with how eye-wateringly stupid the world is.

I’m no Twilight fan – I haven’t read more than a paragraph of the first book and thought the first two films (not seen the others) were f***ing awful. Rob Pattinson, though, I’ve got a lot of time for, and here’s why.

The best blog post I’ve ever read

Like most bloggers, I find myself repeating myself on certain pet issues because I’m not doing my job well enough – I can’t fully articulate in a single post the highly important information I’m trying to convey. This is as frustrating for me the writer as it is for you the reader. Thankfully, sometimes another blogger steps in with something that perfectly sums up the arguments in a witty, entertaining and informative post.

Why Everett True is wrong

Written for Collapse Board

“Mostly only art created by women has any validity. The male experience has been created and recreated so often” – Everett True, 1992

That is such bulls***. It’s like saying that only Tuvan throat singing/rock hybrids have any validity because you don’t get much of that, either. (And, f***, it’s good stuff.)  I don’t flip the sleeve over to check the gender before I’ll listen to the record, any more than I’d think too much about whether they were, say, Turkish. And, yes, a Turkish act does bring a certain flavour to the mix that you rarely get with non-Turkish acts. It’s informed and shaped by its Turkishness but not wholly defined by it because it’s more than that and to reduce it to that is to insult it.

Take Aylin Aslim, for example. I don’t know who she is, but I love her. I don’t have the slightest clue what she’s singing about (though Google translate tells me it’s called “ghoul”). There’s definitely a Turkishness to what she does, but I don’t set out to listen to Turkish folk. I just like this one – her – because she has such a don’t-give-a-f*** attitude and playful energy that makes her an absolute joy to listen to.